I have days where I know I am pregnant. I also have days where I wonder if it is real. Days where I think all of these 'symptoms' could totally be something else.' Today is one of those days. The fact that I can smell the leftovers in the closed fridge from the living room or that I am starving but can't find anything worth eating still leaves me wondering. Forget that I get cravings, have mood swings, have a newly soft belly, get nauseated from time to time, or that I want to sleep ALL day (that one's easy to explain away), I just can't believe it sometimes.
My pregnancy books both tell me that ambiguity is normal. That doesn't mean I like the sensation. In my heart I want to embrace this with every fiber of my being. I guess my mind just needs more time.
I have my first OB appointment on Wednesday (or is it Tuesday... hmm...). I look forward to having absolute proof that this is real, a professional saying "Yes, you are going to be a mother."
Until then I will keep sleeping my days away, trying to take care of the mundane things, and battling with my picky eater.
Clearly this is my most favorite subject to comment on. :) We didn't believe it was real until we saw the little heartbeat flashing on the ultrasound. In fact, we didn't even tell family until then!! We are dorks. :) Every sentence started with "If we're really pregnant..." Talk about denial. ;)
ReplyDeleteWe told the family as soon as we found out; even woke Wesley's dad up from a deep sleep to tell him. We aren't very good secret keepers. I told work pretty early because it's important they know so I don't get patients with cooties that could hurt the baby.
ReplyDeleteit was the heartbeat and the picture that really made me feel pregnant. before that i just felt plain crazy.
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